SAY and DO

We already talked about VISION. Now, let's know about what 'SAY and DO' is.

It has got 3 stages :
1) Running commentary --- For New Born to 1 year
2) Allowing your child to experience --- From 1 year to 4 years
3) Answering WHY --- From 4 years to 7 years

1) Running Commentary : The name itself suggests that you need to give commentary(continuously talk) from the fourth month of pregnancy. The mother can apply this till the child is of 1 year age.

Tell everything to your child in detail. By doing this, we are putting more information in the right brain(brain gurinchi malli cheptaa). Till 6 years, what we keep in the brain, it is stored and later the left brain activates and uses the information stored in right brain. Also, you develop bonding b/w the child and parents. And by storing the info in right brain, you are stimulating him and exercising his/her brain. Tell him everything just like you hear the cricket commentary. Mottham cheppandi. Everything in detail. The child will not feel ignored. You will draw their attention and mentally prepare them by telling everything. And be HONEST in whatever you tell. Manam ippudu edi chepithe adi ala vallaki register ayyipothundi. So tell them truth. They are now embodiments of truth. Help them in staying this forever.

Ila enduku chepthunna running commentary ivvamani ante, tell everything even your financial conditions, intlo godavalu etc. Tell them everything, because we ourselves had undergone this. Ex, sometime when there was some discussion when we tell something, mana vaallu emantaaru, nuvvu chinnadaanivi salahaa icche anthadaanivi ayyava ani? Ela feel ayyamu manamu or sometimes they would have said peddadanivi idi kuda neeku theliyada ani. Inthaki manam peddavallama or chinnavallama, manake doubt vacchina rojulu vunnayi. Avunaa? So, ila running commentary valla, the child too knows what's happening in the house as he is also involved. He will also adjust accordingly.

Suppose, manam ivi evi cheppamu, your child grows and turns 10 years. Then, he comes one day and tells I need 5000Rs, we are going for outing, and I am in for it and I need to pay by evening. Already you have some financial crisis from past 6 months and suddenga ilaa mee child adigithe meeru emantaaru. Neeku illu gurinchi emi pattadu and vellodu. Intlo paristhithulu thelusaa and so on. Did you ever tell your child all this? Why will he try to understand, if you tell today. We always ignore the child, like suppose meeru bayatiki velthunnaru. Do you say to the child? Nenu bayatiki velthuna ivi konadaaniki/dinnerki/something else. Naaku intha time paduthundi, so nenu maximumga 2 hours or 2 1/2 hours lo vasthaanu. Enthamandi cheppi velthaaru to their kids, I mean 0-3 years lopu vaallaki. Cheppakunda velthaamu, as he will cling to you once the child knows you are leaving him and going. But, if you tell, you are stimulating him and preparing him and meeku khali time lo start telling him about your work and how its necesary to go to office and how it helps you and all, the child will understand.

Tell everything. While having bath, every minute detail like picking the tumbler, filling with water etc should be spoken. Else, bhojanam chesetappudu parents, digestive system of the child gurinchi, mandulu icchetappudu enduku isthunnamu avi and vesukovadam valla emi avuthundi anni detailed ga cheppali. By doing this, the child learns constantly and they will not get disinterested. Pillalu bore avvaru, as they are always enthusiastic to learn. Deeniki oka manchi example cheppaaru. Manaki manchi aakali vesthundi, manaki ishtamainavi ready ga vunnayi. Suddenly, evaro vacchi ila bazaarki velli vaddamu, some interesting vi vunnayi antaaru. What will you do, eat or go with them? The answer would be eat first and then go out but pillala ki aakali vesthunnappudu, annam and oka kottha toy pettaaru anukondi, vaadu annam kante toy ni pattukuntaadu. It means, he wants to learn what it is and all. So, pillalu will never get bored.

2) Learning from experience : This goes from 1-4 years. Ikkada, child wants to learn different things. Example, hot and cold, sweet and sour etc. All this should take place in the presence of elders. Suppose child wants to touch something hot, mundu mother should touch and say with action hot ani(ikkada action very important), then allow the child to feel it. Best place is kitchen to explore for the child. Anni tastes like meeru veggies cut chesthunnaranukondi, child ki kuda oka plastic katti ivvandi. Ilaa ivvadam valla vaadu cut chesthaadu. You are trying to fine tune your child motor skills. Ilaa day to day activities lo involve cheyyadam valla they will remember the experiences and learning process enhance avuthundi.

Vaallu edi chesthamannaa vaddu or NO ani cheppavaddu. Suppose meeru ironing chesthunnaru. Your child wants to do. So, first iron chesina batta meeda cheyyi pettinchandi. Vedi gaa thagulthundi adi. Next, just mee hand iron box deggariki theesukoni velli with action cheppandi aa vedi sega ela vuntundo. Let the child know everything. By doing all these, we are developing his 5 senses. At the same time developing the child's confidence. If we won't allow, it leads to fear.

We knowingly or unknowingly impose fear in child. Aalochinchandi elaano. Pillalu annam tinakapothe emi chesthaam. Adigo kaaki ki icchesthunna, nenu thinesthaanu, etc, etc. Avunaa? Inka further vinakapothe adigo akkada aa room lo deyyam /rakshasi vundi, vachchi ninnu mingesthundi ani(but nijamga aa room lo vundaa). Aa roju bhayapetti tinipinchestaaru. Mee pani ayipoyindi. But next day, meeru antaaru pada velli aa gadi lo velli light veddam or bomma tecchukundamu ani. Child ki oka image padipoyindi aa gadi lo buchi vundi ani inka alaa fear anedi install ayipothundi. If the child falls, let him fall. He will learn and develop confidence. Never install fear in them.

Oka example chepthaanu. Manam edi chepthaamo ade chesthaaru pillalu. Suppose mee intiki evaro vaccharu(meeku telisina valle le), meeru water ivvadaaniki lopaliki velthaaru. Your child comes and tells, nenu isthaanu water and already you filled water in glass tumblers. Meeremantaaru, vaddu nuvvu padesthaavu ani(earlier you never allowed your child to do this). Vaadu gattigaa edusthaadu, nenu isthaanu ani and mee guest vinnaru. So, out of courtesy you say sarey teesukuni vellu. But, you will give 100 directions like jagrattaga teesukoni vellu, ila pattuko, ala pattuko, padesthavu, alaa vellu, ilaa vellu and all. Right? So your child takes it and suddenly remembers, nuvvu padesthaavu ani meeru anindi. So out of fear padestaadu vaadu. Meeremantaaru, cheppaana nuvvu padesthavu, etc. Neeku oka pani kuda raadu and all. Isn't it?

But, vaadu chesindi kuda meeru cheppinde kada. Meeru padesthaavu ani annaru, vaadu kuda meeru cheppinde chesaadu. So, try to develop his confidence. He may fail once but you should be there to support his morale. Ila cheyyadam valla natural discipline vasthundi. How many of you like your child to be disciplined in front of everyone? I hope andaru yes antaaru. You want them to be disciplined naturally or just mee kallu chuso ledo meeru tiditheno disciplined ga vundaalaa. It all depends on how you mould the clay. Once the clay is heated, manam entha anukunna daanni vere shape ivvalemu.

All this, you can give right when the child is young and learning and he develops this from experience. Let him be free to learn. Ikkada maaku oka rhyme mana telugu di chepparu with action. Kondaru chesaru with action kondaru cheyyaledu. And some tried to do. Then she said why aren't you doing with action ani. The same, the child too experiences. When someone comes to your house and you ask your child to sing or tell rhymes and the child doesn't even move his /her lips. Meeremantaru bad boy/girl neeku emi raavantaru and all isn't it. But, did u understand the child's feelings? Ade, and once the guests go your child will start telling you rhymes. Meeru antaaru po, ippudu naakenduku? Appudu cheppaleduga ani. Manam chesthe ne kada pillalu mana deggaranunchi nerchukunedi. When young, we would have done like being free but now we stop all that. Pillalu kuda ade nerchukuntaru. It's on us to develop their confidence and to learn that give them their space and time. Don't force them.

3) When the child asks WHY : For 4 and above children. Ikkada child annitiki reason thelusukovaalanukuntaadu. Anduke ee WHY? Ilaantappudu parents answers ivvakudadu. But, allow him to inquire and find out themselves. Deeni valla right brain activate avuthundi. Creavity stimulate ayyi brain grow avuthundi. Okavela meeku answer theliyadanukondi, tell the child you will find out and let them know. And ask them their view. Vaallu cheppinaaka say 'YES', Ok, this is what I feel ani. Ila cheyyadam valla left brain stimulate avuthundi. Reasoning develop avuthundi. Left brain activate avvadam valla the child asks WHY. Never answer the child question, give room for their creativity.

Ask them why it happens like this / what happened etc. Once we answer, we are killing their imagination. Chinna pillala creativity ki antham vundadu. This is the time their brain starts logical reasoning. You would have observed when you give a toy to the child he first touches it, tries to feel it, then tries to open it, and throws down. Before he does something to that broken toy what do we do. Vaadini thitti, aa bommani permanent ga ataka meeda cherusthaaru. But vaadiki aa virigina daantlo nunchi vachchina sabdam lo inko creativity vuntundi. Adi entha costly bomma ayinaa sare bomma paristhiti anthe. Vaademi adagaledu, naaku intha costly bomma konivvu ani. For child, oka 10/- or 1000 rs/- bomma same. Vaadiki kavalsindalla, feel the toy and see what's more it is made of.

Child creativity enthaga vuntundi ante, once a child was going on drive with his parents, suddenly he sees lots of lighting (actually adi oka hotel)in some distance. He asks his mother what is it ani. So mom said, you tell me what are you thinking ani. Vaadu em cheppado thelusaaa, I think it's a big cake with so many candles, may be oka pedda uncle birthday emo ani. Isn't it just amazing to think like that? The same child ........